Story excerpt

In my previous post ( https://ahouse.forumotion.com/t2329-happy-new-year-again ) I mentioned the pics being variations of the cover for a story I've written. While bow ties are the main focus of it, I naturally included regular ones as well. A non-X-rated part feature those prominently, and I thought maybe you'd be interested to see it. There are illustrations as well, but perhaps you'd prefer to imagine your own visuals. I'll be posting those later in the day at any rate!

Anyway, this excerpt is about the protagonists - Alexis and Kimberly - visiting a couple of castmates from their showgirl days to get some help in the tying department. Hope you'll enjoy it!

The picture card proved infuriating, like those ‘how to draw’ pages in children’s magazines. Making two circles was easy but ‘add details’ less so. 

Lexi felt a bow tie was much the same - simple to start, hard to finish and never looking quite as intended. She practiced tying it over and over again, swearing in frustration every time she messed up. Making a general butterfly shape wasn’t too hard, but getting it even? No dice.
And it often ended up not tight enough.  As a trumpeter she knew the value of repetitions, but she had an ear for music. This, she felt, might be beyond her expertise. 

So she finally bit the bullet and called an actual expert. She’d seen her handiwork as recently as New Year’s.

-------

Vanita greeted them at the door wearing a full tux, albeit with black leggings in lieu of the usual trousers. The outfit contrasted with her exotic looks and jangling coin earrings but didn’t look odd in the least. It actually suited her a lot. 

Lexi was a bit taken aback but quickly composed herself.

“Didn’t think this would be a formal affair.”

   “Oh, it’s very casual”, the indian girl assured her. “Just thought I’d get into the spirit of things.”

“Not that I complain”, came a voice from inside. Caroline, the troupe’s resident jokester, was rocking a decidedly less elegant ensemble in cotton and denim. As good a proof as any that opposites attract, though these two former castmates had more in common than you’d think.

After the usual greetings and hugs they got down to business.

“I know you say it’s no different from tying your shoes and I can handle that, but how do you get it that” - Lexi managed to skip an expletive - “neat?”

   Nita fingered her tie. “I suppose it comes down to practice. You won’t believe how boring nights can get at a boarding school.”

“I thought you just had to wear regular ones?” Kim said.

   “Yes, but after mastering windsors and half-windsors and Prince Alberts and what-have-you we went on to these as well.”

Kim gave a wry grin. “To me a Prince Albert is something pretty different.”

   Nita chuckled. “Guess he was a man of many talents. In any case, I’ve spent a fair time on knots. Can I have a look at your problem?”

Alexis produced the source of her difficulties and her friend inspected it.

   “Nice quality. I like there’s so little room for adjustment - makes the band look more even. And limits how badly you can fail.” She smiled in mock sympathy. “‘Fraid there’s a little math involved but don’t worry, I’ve studied. Could you show how you go about it?”

Lexi went up to the mirror and slung the strip of fabric around her neck with some apprehension. She felt a bit stupid but then remembered a lot of people couldn’t do it at all. 

The motions came almost by themselves. Around, across, up and over the folded bit and then the tricky bit through the knot… She fiddled around and ended up with more or less the intended shape. Less, she thought. It looked more bohemian then debonair.

Kim was supportive as usual. “Getting there!”

   Nita cocked her head. “A good start! What you need to do is calculate just where you want it and how long it needs to be for that. And then keep everything even and in place, which I admit can take some work. May I try?”

“Sure.”

Vanita swiftly untied the bow, measured the ends against each other and adjusted the buckle in the back slightly. She wasn’t condescending at all (which would have been out of character anyway) and her girlfriend didn’t make a single teasing remark (which was). Carrie stated outright she was in no position to judge, as she’d never even tried it herself. 

   “About time you did, then”, Nita grinned, undid and handed over her own black tie.

It’s perhaps just as well not to describe what the redhead’s attempts looked like, only that they made Alex feel she might not have done such a bad job after all.

“Vee”, Carrie complained after the fifth try, “this is impossible!”

   “Not at all”, Vanita said and deftly finished the knot around Lexi’s neck. She’d done it over a few times but evidently felt this was as good as it would get. The result was impressive and Carrie’s pout turned into a smile.

“Do it for me too?”

As the knot specialist turned to a fresh subject Lexi studied her reflection. She was amazed someone could do such a good job. It looked just the way she’d been hoping for and she couldn’t help preening a bit, turning this way and that.

“Beau-ti-full”, Kim said. “How does it feel?”

“Real good”, Lex said, another understatement. She felt awesome. The band was tight and smooth and the bow rested snugly against her throat. It made her straighten her back without even thinking and went really well with the black top she’d donned for the occasion. A happy squeal interrupted her self-admiration.

“Lookie here!” Carrie exclaimed.

She was now sporting a near-perfect black silk tie, which oddly enough didn’t clash with her poofy, careless pigtails. While it didn’t match her pink tee it was still a cute way to accessorize and Kim filed it for future use.

   Nita adjusted it some more. “Some say a self-tie should be a bit uneven, to emphasize the perfection of the rest. I think those wankers just want to make sure people notice they can do it themselves. I prefer to show I can tie them so good you hardly notice and if they miss that they don’t care anyway.”

She stepped back to display the proof. It looked exceedingly nice on the playful redhead and was a good match for her satisfied grin.

“Wish I could”, Lex said.

   “A suggestion?” Vanita said. “If you’re the only one who’s gonna wear it and don’t plan on packing on a few pounds, fixating the band might be a good idea.”

“How - sew it in place?”

   “No, just a dab of glue.”

Carrie immediately headed for a cupboard and fetched a tiny flask.

“Here! Be careful wi’ the stuff, got me fingers stuck last time.”

“Where?” Kim leered as Lexi very carefully took off her tie.

   “Not that one, love”, Nita said and switched the flask for a tube. “Superglue doesn’t play nice with fabrics.”

   A small amount of all-round adhesive locked the buckle in place and after a short while it was ready for further attempts. Alex went slowly to not embarrass herself but still found her technique lacking. It showed some improvement, sure, but she wasn’t quite there yet.

  As the others reminisced and shared plans for the future, Lexi realized her contributions were mainly “uh-huh”s and grunts. She was far too focused for conversation - or rather, couldn’t do both at once.

The white silk felt much more pliable in her hands now, and she wondered if it had been broken in or her fingers had just become nimbler. At any rate it was progress.

Kim indicated Nita’s clothes. “Love the look but can’t get over the queen of boho-chic owning a tux.”

“See!” Carrie told her girlfriend. “Wasn’t a silly thought after all.”

   “One perk of wearing loose and colorful stuff all the time is that dressing up feels extra special. And I never said it was silly.”

“You laughed at me.”

   “Yes”, Nita admitted, “when you thought I used salad forks for every meal.”

“You don’t?” Kim exclaimed in mock surprise.

   “Not even a napkin. You’ve seen me eat.” She chortled to herself. “Before you ask I’m fresh out of cucumber sandwiches, but I think we can manage some coffee once she’s done.”

“Neat”, Kim said, then glanced at the movements in the mirror. “Getting the hang of it yet, Lex?”

“Lemme try again, think I almost got it.”

The blonde turned to her indian friend. “While we wait, you know a good place for shirts? I need a wing-tipped like yours.”

   She didn’t only get a location but some pointers about the all-important collar size and other things to consider, like fabrics, pleats, thread count and such. She even learned what the hell a placket was. Could be nice to know even if the fit was the most important part at the moment.

“Yes!” Lexi exclaimed, pumping her fist. The white tie sat proudly below her chin, looking almost exactly like it had done when she’d had help. This time the work was all her own, though.

“Atta girl!” Kim cried and went up to reward her with a kiss. A rather long one.

Once disengaged they found their hosts occupied in a similar manner.

“Got tired of waiting”, Carrie said.

   Nita smiled. “More like ‘I’m having what she’s having’.”

“Any excuse is enough for me”, Kim said. “And that was a pretty good one. Great job, Lex!”

“Thanks. The right length really helped.”

“Can you do it again, though?” Carrie wondered.

Eager to prove herself Lexi did, and the redhead sulked.

“No fair!”

“Don’t take it so hard”, Kim said. “I’ve no idea how either.”

“You’ll learn”, Nita promised. “I give private lessons.”

As Lexi rolled up and put away the silken band Kim fielded another sartorial question.

“What you said about girls owning ties - how many do you have?”

   Nita pondered the answer. “Six, I think. Let’s see.”

She led them to the wardrobe and opened it to show a neat rack on the door. The dominant hues were pink, purple and grey and there were indeed two rows of three - a pair of solid colors, one each of diagonal stripes, small polka dots and a paisley pattern, and finally a cute one with a silly Snoopy print.

Kim pointed at the latter. “You wore that one to work once, right?”

   “Twice, I think. But funny enough, I was usually more casual there than at home.”

“Wasn’t exactly Wall Street!” Carrie grinned.

They all chuckled. At a burlesque theatre the suits - if any - are usually on the customers.

“You have time to model a couple?” Alex pleaded. “Don’t know when we’d get another chance...” It was hard to believe the other couple was returning to the UK in a little more than a week.

   A warm smile crossed Vanita’s face. “Of course.”

“Don’t need a show or anything, I just want to see how it’s done.”

   “Always nice to have your talents in demand.”

“And I like the look”, Lex confessed with a sigh. “Happy?”

“You and me both!” Carrie said. “Want some popcorn? Or a private booth?”

Nita rolled her eyes. “Cee, love, go make that coffee while I get ready.”

The guests were still stirring their insta-brew when Nita appeared in the doorway. She’d changed into a very flattering charcoal suit of a feminine cut and wore the jacket open, leaving the top of the belted trousers exposed.  A dark violet tie extended from a rather thin knot between the collar points and the whole thing exuded an air of classy casual.

She leaned against the door frame in an almost provocatively relaxed way, looking for all the world like that kind of outfit was everyday wear for her. Carrie nearly spilled the milk she was serving and Kim let out a wolf whistle.

“Not bad!”

“Oh, hell no!” Lexi agreed.

   “For our first number we have the four-in-hand”, Nita intoned in her best presenting voice. It was so rich and pleasant she could have had Cherry’s job at the theatre any day. The slight british accent only added to the effect. “Also known as a ‘regular tie knot’ and regarded as the simplest one to learn.”

Alex sipped her black coffee to keep her jaw from dropping. This was evidently going to be a full demonstration and the lady in front of her was an absolute stunner. No matter what silly acts they’d been in together, she’d always found her almost too cool for words. 

Vanita pulled on the end and the tie came loose in her hand. She draped it over the door handle, shook her masses of black hair aside and flipped the collar up. Then she reached into a pocket and withdrew the specimen in pink paisley. She put it in its proper place while heading over to the wall mirror.

 Her hands moved quickly as she wound the wider end around the thin one a couple of times, then pulled it down and straightened the whole thing after restoring the collar.

   “Next, the Prince Albert or Victoria or double four-in-hand knot - similar to the last one but twice the fun. Or at least twice the loops.”

The knot was thicker but the asymmetry more evident, emphasized by the overlapping edge. It was still a nice shape, but Lex couldn’t decide whether it was an improvement. It complimented Nita’s customary bindi perfectly though.

“I liked the longer one a bit more”, Kim said.

“No surprise there”, Carrie grinned.

   Vanita shrugged. “That’s the tradeoff - the more you wrap up the less is left over.” She quickly changed it to the previous knot and at a glance the length was the main difference. Lexi conceded her lover was right.

“Don’t think I could tell them apart”, she said.

   “Might be easier with a thicker weave. Shall I go on?” Nita asked.

“Please.”

“For my next trick I’ll need a different shirt”, she stated. “Just a moment.”

She walked off and Carrie passed around a tin of butterscotch biscuits. Lexi hadn’t even finished hers when the model reappeared, now wearing what could only be described as the ultimate tie. It was a middle grey with a discreet shine, looking lighter than it really was from the tiny white polka dots covering it. The smart knot looked solid and symmetrical with an elegant crease extending downwards. Vanita had also added a matching waistcoat and the patterned line curved over her bust before vanishing into it. She put a hand on her hip, as if daring the audience to criticize her.

The guests were almost speechless. Lex managed a few spontaneous words.

“Holy shit, that’s nice.”

“Could say that again.” Carrie had dropped her silly facade and turned into a woman admiring her lover. Kim could have sworn there was an actual sparkle in her eyes.

And why not? Nita was so yummy in that the blonde would have joined in any antics she might have suggested. The collar seemed made-to-measure-tight - sure, there was enough give to make it appear comfy, but still. Kim hoped it felt as good as it looked.

The indian girl pretended to not notice the near-drooling but didn’t do too good a job. You could tell how pleased she was with the attention.

   “This is a half-windsor”, she intoned. “Note the wider spread of the collar to fully accommodate it.”

“Oh, we’re noting all right”, Kim said. With the effect the sight had on her lover she’d be a fool not to memorize it. 

   “An extra loop around the neck band provides some shape and bulk. The crease is optional, but I think it adds something.”

Alex approached for a closer look. “It does. I mean, that’s how it looks in pictures. How do you get it like that?”

   Vanita looked modest. “Nothing to it. Or almost nothing. Watch for yourself.”

She produced a striped tie in purple tones and went to the mirror. It was somewhat disappointing to watch her unravel the grey marvel and pop the collar, but there was always a chance the next would be even better.

The fresh example went around Nita’s neck and she held out both ends as if to demonstrate.

   “And finally, the windsor knot. This time I will loop around the band on both sides to make it even larger.” 

She went through the tying process slowly to show what she meant and pinched the fabric as she pulled it tight, creating a deep fold beneath the fat knot. 

The result was almost too big even for the new collar but there was no doubt it looked impressive, almost imposing. The slanted stripes added a touch of business and Nita buttoned her jacket to make it even more so.

“Only missing a bowler and umbrella”, Carrie said, “but I like it better like this.”

The tie now seemed massive enough to be a separate garment, not just an accessory. Yet it blended so neatly with the rest Lexi got a glimmer of understanding of the 1970’s excesses. Oversized could be nice in the right circumstances. With a tie like that a girl might skip both waistcoat and jacket and still give a larger-than-life impression.

   “It is occasionally frowned on”, the narrator told them, “because some consider it vain to wear one.”

“Vanity, thy name is Vanita”, Carrie giggled.

The model sighed. “Never heard that one before.”

Also, quite far from the truth. Style-conscious for sure, but the other girls had seen her romp around in enough stupid getups to know the description didn’t fit.

   “And that concludes our brief presentation. Any questions?”

“Sure you can breathe in that?” Alex wondered.

   “Natch. Once the button is in there’s no pressure here at all.” She touched her throat and smiled. “So my airways are quite free. I could even blow up anything you’d care to name.”

The knot certainly seemed inflated enough. Kim got an impulse to ask if they had any king-size airbed just for laughs, but knew any such challenge would be accepted and vanquished. She decided to fish for pointers instead and lifted an eyebrow. 

“Ever worn a bow outside black-tie occasions?”

   “Of course. Not very often, but yes.”

“With what? Or what would you suggest for it?”

   The dusky girl lit up with a sudden idea. “I’ll show you!”

She vanished once more and Carrie called after her.

“Hope it’s lingerie!”

“Would be great with yours”, Kim observed.

The redhead flashed her a mischievous grin. “Should I put some on?”

“Maybe not for me”, the blonde advised with some reluctance.

As for Nita’s apparel the suit stayed the same, but her waistcoat was gone and the jacket instead closed over a sky-blue shirt with a white contrast collar covering the band of a bow tie with small pink and white flowers on a dark blue base. It was both larger and wider than her black one and the knot a little bulkier. The wings drooped just a tad and sat askew enough to be noticeable - but no more.

The model had stuck a matching silk handkerchief down her breast pocket - a lovely touch that somehow made the jacket more feminine.

Overall the outfit gave off an aura of carefree exuberance and Alex wondered why she didn’t wear that every day. It was a waste saving it for special occasions.

   “All right, so I’m bending the rules a little”, Nita said in her normal tones. “This type needs to be a bit looser or it looks overdone.”

There was nothing to complain about. It was expertly tied and any imperfections calculated. She might go on any errand and simply look well-dressed. It wouldn’t raise any eyebrows - but maybe some temperatures.

   “I could open this”, she said and unbuttoned the jacket, “but since the tie doesn’t hang down I like it closed. That’s just me though.”

“Looks great both ways”, Kim said. “That hankie come with the tie?”

   “Yes, you can get sets but I usually don’t. But this one was too pretty to pass up!”

The blonde nodded agreement. “I saw you had a white one with the tux.”

   “I like the contrast but it’s not required or anything. Needs to be folded though, not like this!” She waved her hand at the rumpled fabric.

“Last question - is that hole meant for flowers?”

   Nita moved her hand to touch the lapel. “This? The thought was to have a button under the other one so you could close it up in a chill. The flowers came later...and would you believe they say that was Prince Albert’s idea too?”, she laughed.

“Is there something that guy didn’t do?”, Alex said.

“Live past forty?” Carrie suggested, a born irishwoman. She walked over and began fiddling with her lover’s tie. Slender digits danced between the silken wings, pinching and pulling while exploring every aspect of the knot.

“These are kinda fun”, she said.

Nita looked a bit exasperated at having her handiwork messed up.
   “You’ve still got one on, you know.”

“Yeah, but no fun playing wi’ meself when I have you.”

There was no arguing with that logic. Carrie ran a finger along Vanita’s collar.

“Gotta love that fit. Seen actresses with a mile-wide gap.”

“On Redtube?” Kim asked.

“More like red carpets. But that too!” the redhead grinned.

   Nita nodded. “I see that, I think it’s technically a necklace.”

“Or even a belt” Carrie said. “What’s the point of a collar that loose?”

   “Beats me. Fitting a finger behind is fine but a fist is not.”

“Ooo, Vee, you said best behavior but I have to say something!”

Kim was shaking with suppressed laughter. “Too late!”

Alex chuckled too. Back at the theatre any innuendo had been mercilessly expounded on to the point they could now find it in the most innocent phrases. This was a doozy even by their standards.

“Boober woulda loved that one.”

“So text her. Ask if she can guess the real context.”

While Carrie eagerly got her phone out Vanita loosened her tie and opened the top buttons.

   “Know what really gets my goat? Ladies who accessorize like this. Showing up undone, trying to be fashionable. It just gives the impression of being partied out already - not a good look for arrivals.”

“Exactly!” Lexi said. “Always irked me for some reason. It looks... lazy.”

   “Worst part is they probably put some effort into it.”

Kim frowned. “I never thought about it but you’re right. I mean, why not a nice scarf if you just wanna sling something ‘round your neck?”

   “Yeah!” Nita said, happy for the support. “Would be much better for that. You never see regular ties hanging open because it looks sloppy, but for some reason bow ties seem fair game.”

“Must be the shape.”

   “Which only emphasizes the lack of knot.” Vanita pulled at the loose ends. “Leaving like this is perfectly okay - maybe even preferable. Shows you’ve been having a good time.”

Carrie nodded enthusiastically. “Like you took your date into a back room and couldn’t be arsed to put all in order afterwards.”

   Nita agreed. “Why not?

The pun was too obvious to make. Instead, Lexi made a sweeping gesture at the suit-clad girl.

“You wear that often?” she asked.

   “Almost never”, Nita confessed. “There’s a time and a place.”

“Gotta find that place”, Carrie said. “And make time.”

   “Want to try it on, love?”

“Nah”, the redhead shrugged. “Can’t compete with that. Would be like making me try the trumpet after her.” She hiked a thumb at Lexi, who was flattered despite knowing Carrie was quite hopeless with a horn.

She was certain she’d look damned good in a suit though, but she’d had her fill of eye candy for the moment.